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Post-divorce reality for many fathers: it’s better

On Behalf of | Jul 1, 2019 | Divorce |

Many fathers across the country who reportedly have a lacking perception of themselves as dads during marriage conjure up a readjusted attitude in the wake of divorce.

That shouldn’t be surprising, says the dad-focused publication Fatherly. It notes in a recent article on fathers’ post-divorce relationship with children that that men “tend to have a more multifaceted experience with [their] children after a divorce.”

The reasons for that can obviously be many, but one catalyst for the lack of such experience during marriage is the oft-reported tendency of many husbands to cede control to their wives in matters involving the children. Whether true of not, society has largely put women on a pedestal for their perceived superiority in child-rearing and household administration.

One ex-husband who now claims a better relationship with his kids than he had during marriage says he too willingly just stepped aside for years, accepting his wife’s autonomy in child-linked matters. He now says that he is a better father as a single parent.

That new status, he stresses, makes him step up and directly interact with his children in ways he did not previously do. In the past, he says, “I probably would have just left [situations] for my wife to handle or to tell me what to do.”

Commentators in the Fatherly piece emphasize that legions of loving dads across the country feel similarly in divorce’s wake. The dissolution of a failed marriage means that now-divorced spouses are “no longer drained by marital conflict” and “often become more empowered to “pursue parenting with focus” they didn’t have during a troubled marriage.

Many dads report that happy development. And the Fatherly article underscores it, noting that divorce “can sometimes provide them with room to become better fathers.”

Divorce sometimes gets negative ink. Family law research and studies also drive home the point that it can spur deeply positive developments. Those certainly include the above-cited step forward it provides for many fathers to become truly exemplary parents to their children.